Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just forgot I was standing up.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
