Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
