Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
