Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
