I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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