I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
