I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
