I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
