umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
