i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize