Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
