I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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