Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize