Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
After last night, I could never be a politician.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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