I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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