Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
one might say we're banned from that church
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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