margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
