i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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