I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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