Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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