Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
