Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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