my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
