If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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