I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
