Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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