his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
