There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She even gives head with a lisp.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
