Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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