I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So much rum. So many feels.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize