Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize