Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
