Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize