why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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