I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
