Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
