went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
