Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
