I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
