the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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