I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize