just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
