nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
