He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
did i just pee glitter
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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