If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
