Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i've created a new STD.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
