That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
