Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
