her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
