I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
