Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
