Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize