Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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