shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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