who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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