Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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