My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
