I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
