i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
