got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
