I just threw up on my dentist
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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