The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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