my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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