they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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