i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
