Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
