I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Sext me about skeletons
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
