I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
