i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
