what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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