you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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