If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
