hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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