we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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