what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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