i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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