I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize